Let’s talk about sex baby!- (Warning! Sexual Content)

A delve into the diverse and down-right dirty world of sexual behaviours displayed in a wide range of animals. Not for the faint hearted.

When it comes to sex, to contrary belief, reproduction is not the only driver. We might narcissistically think that we are the only species that has sex for pleasure but this is far from correct. Across the animal kingdom we see a cacophony of weird and wonderful sexual and reproductive behaviours and displays. Some are far from our understanding but some make a bit of bondage and role playing look completely ‘vanilla’.

So let’s start with the duck. The duck might seem as innocent as Georgie Porgie with his pudding and pie, but they lead an incredibly sordid private life behind closed doors. Or should I say; behind closed 'reeds'. The male and female ducks will successfully mate as normal, but the unsuccessful males, egos bruised, unfortunately need a few lessons in ‘consent’. Groups of male ducks will force copulation on unsuspecting females in their dire need to sow their seeds and continue their lineage. The fabulous news is, these advocates for feminism have developed a brilliant adaptation which prevents her eggs being fertilised by such an unfit male. Now if you didn’t know, ducks are very unusual when it comes to their genitalia. Most birds have a very simple set up, however ducks possess a phallus which can extend to up to 40cm long! (If you’re wondering… that’s 15 inches!). The strange thing about this monster phallus, is that it is shaped in a cork screw fashion. The fascinating adaptation that females have adopted, is their vagina is also cork screw shaped… but the opposite way to the male! Now studies have been done to show that this adaptation is to prevent fertilisation from forced entrance,and by testing the ejaculation response to vessels of different shapes, this has been shown to be the case (Brennan et al). When the female is receptive to the male, she can relax her cloacal muscles so the male is able to complete insertion and fertilise (Prum, 2017). If female ducks had hands, I would high five them for this evolutionary marvel!

Some interesting physiological adaptations to increased reproductive success are displayed across the animal kingdom. Many species are hermaphrodites which can increase chances of mating. Pseudopenises (a fake penis) are displayed in female spotted hyenas Crocuta crocuta, fully equipped with a false scrotum containing fat and other connective tissues, and are thought to be correlated with sexual dominance. 'Copulatory plugs' are common in a variety of insect species that prevent their partners from being copulated with by other mates- by being plugged. Detachable penises are displayed in the Argonauta genus, a group of octopuses. These are fired off and the penis swims on its own and attaches itself to the female. I can think of a few humans who would rather it be a detachable instrument.

Now the giraffe loves a good ‘neckin’ off’ session as much as the rest of us but they display some interesting behaviours in order to see if his cow is in the right place in her cycle. As a mammal, they have an ovarian cycle and to find that optimal reproductive point is going to reduce energy costs for the bull giraffe. The whole process starts with a romantic neck and head rubbing, some chest bumping followed by some body licking and sniffing. They even take a quick snack break together. Once this courting ritual is complete, the male will induce urination by nudging his head into her rump and takes a nice mouthful to taste the urine (I’m sure we have a word for this sexual behaviour!) to check she is in ‘estrus’: The prime point in her cycle. If she is, they will mate. Kinky things!

One of the most fantastic things about the animal sexual community that many people are unaware of, is the brilliantly wide variety of animals which display homosexuality. Something that is fascinating animal behavioural scientists all over the world and in recent years has stimulated more and more research in animal homosexuality. Some of the most famous species to exhibit homosexuality are Japanese Macaques and African Bonobos. Some of their sexual activities being far too explicit to go into detail, but one thing that’s certain is they are definitely enjoying themselves!

But what happens if you can’t find the partner of your dreams to fulfil your sexual desires? The walrus, horses, squirrels, dolphins and many more have all come up with clever ideas for a bit of ‘me-time’. The walrus takes his manhood between his fins. He can even put his money where his mouth is and …well use his mouth! The horse will ‘slap his chap’ against his stomach and a porcupine will ‘hump his junk’ on whatever he can find. There is still much debate into whether or not animal masturbation is actually for sexual pleasure or merely to release fluid build-up or for the release of other emotions such as aggression, however it seems naive to think that it couldn’t be both. Finally, they say dolphins are one of the most intelligent animals on the planet; well here’s your proof. The dolphin has been known to use live eels to provide added stimulation. Now that’s innovation for you.

This is just a small snippet into the wonderful world of sex, the fundamental creator and maintainer of all life on earth. It seems that humans aren’t, by far, the first animals who like a bit of creativity in the bedroom and certainly won’t be the last. So next time your best mate Fido is feeling a bit amorous with the sofa cushion, perhaps close the door and give him a bit of privacy.

- Miranda Burke

Alejo-Plata, M.D.C. and Martínez Santiago, N., 2020. The reproductive strategy of Argonauta nouryi (Cephalopoda: Argonautidae) in the Mexican South Pacific. Molluscan Research, 40(3), pp.205-213.

Bercovitch, F.B., Bashaw, M.J. and del Castillo, S.M., 2006. Sociosexual behavior, male mating tactics, and the reproductive cycle of giraffe Giraffa camelopardalis. Hormones and Behavior, 50(2), pp.314-321.

Boyd, L. and Houpt, K.A. eds., 1994. Przewalski's horse: the history and biology of an endangered species. Suny Press.

Holekamp, K.E., 2006. Spotted hyenas. Current Biology, 16(22), pp.R944-R945.

Mangels, R., Tsung, K., Kwan, K. and Dean, M.D., 2016. Copulatory plugs inhibit the reproductive success of rival males. Journal of evolutionary biology, 29(11), pp.2289-2296.

McBride, A.F. and Hebb, D.O., 1948. Behavior of the captive bottle-nose dolphin, Tursiops truncatus. Journal of Comparative and Physiological Psychology, 41(2), p.111.

Mulcahy, D.M. and Fravel, V., 2018. Walrus medicine. In CRC Handbook of Marine Mammal Medicine (pp. 935-948). CRC Press.

Prum, R.O., 2017. The evolution of beauty: how Darwin's forgotten theory of mate choice shapes the animal world-and us. Anchor.

Sommer, V. and Vasey, P.L. eds., 2006. Homosexual behaviour in animals: an evolutionary perspective. Cambridge University Press.

Waterman, J.M., 2010. The adaptive function of masturbation in a promiscuous African ground squirrel. PLoS One, 5(9), p.e13060.